Uncategorized – Page 228 – riseofthemoonpigeons

kai-tastrophe:

tbh the most exciting part of my day is when i finally go to bed at night and start creating imaginary scenarios in my head

ierohero:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

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memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

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memeufacturing:

if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them

teenagers: we are going to punch you
me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied

teenagers: we are going to kick you
me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…

teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money
me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….

teenagers: we are going to call you mean names
me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….

teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it !
me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.

teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you
me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden

teenagers: we are about to physically assault you
me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut

teenagers: we are going to commit felonies
me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …

teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle
me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet

teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism!
me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield

if theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died

scotchtapeofficial:

ah yes the two genders, wide stance and reserved stance

snorlaxatives:

waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep

geekandmisandry:

dinogatorr:

iguanamouth:

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?

its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument.

More At Six.